I Don't Know

I click the sign in button and stare at a blank post, I haven't wanted to write I just wanted to be alone and figure life out. 

 One time I was training for a race and for some reason felt off when running, I was behind one of the slowest girls and that never happened.  Then I stopped breathing.  I stopped running and tried taking deep breaths while I collapsed to the ground.  A coach ran over to me and tried to calm me down.  I became scared and burst into tears, within minutes I was laughing and crying because I couldn't understand what came over me.  

I didn't understand.  I ended up placing first in the race I was training for, but it was not without bad days.  Days I don't know why things happen, days when people tell me to pull it together and figure it out.  

"What's your plan."   

I don't know... 

but I do know that there's this Guy, He loves me more than I can even fathom and He has a plan.  

It's okay to not know, it's okay to be confused, and most of all it's okay to trust, even on our worst days, that there's a better tomorrow. 

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6

So that's my plan; to let go, to accept not being able to understand and yet have peace in knowing someone who DOES understand is in control, directing me through the rush hour of life. 

"In his heart a man plans his way, but the LORD directs his path." Proverbs 16:9