As I write this post I am sitting outside, on top of my car,
locked out of my house. Why? My family
is asleep, not answering their phones, and my brother has my key.
But it made me think: lately I’ve been feeling “locked out”
of God. I’ve wanted to give up,
forfeit. I’m not the type of person who
gives up easily, but I’ve been tired and ready to give in.
Give in to what?
I firmly believe when you start following
God’s path for your life the devil will do anything in his power to stray you,
to make you feel like you can’t do it.
You know what Satan? I can’t do it, I will never be able to do it, I
alone am not enough. But that’s the best
part; I don’t have to do it. Think about
Job and what God allowed him to go through, and through it all he was never alone. Satan tried and tried to use people, good
people, to lead Job astray, but he never faltered. I wish I could be like that. I’ve faltered…a lot, I’ve even led others
astray. Realizing how far away I was from God was a dawning of a new day. I realized, I’M AT WAR, no matter how many people try to push aside the
spiritual battle that daily takes place--it still exists, and we are all apart of
it. I wasn’t ready for it. I let school and work overtake my life until
I couldn’t focus on God, I let myself become susceptible and I fell.
Sitting outside
is really cold, I long to be in the warmth of my home,
similarly sitting
outside of God is very destitute. I longed to be back in the
warmth of His
embrace. Why couldn’t I go back? What had I done? I had let
Satan try and dissuade me from my
“calling” I had let him tell me to focus on
school and work and tell me that
God will come. It took a couple of weeks
but I
finally saw it, through friends who didn’t even know God was using them, I
realized how greatly I had fallen.
This war can’t and won't be fought with my knowledge of math or biology
concepts but with the truth of Christ. I was never really “outside” or “in the cold”
I was just lost, God was still there He was merely waiting for me to finally see
what He was doing—molding me into a person who can and will fight for Him. A
description I once heard was how a jeweler uses a chisel to form the ruby into
a beautiful piece of art, similarly
God uses people and His Word to fashion us.
It’s not easy being hit and chiseled but it’s even worse giving up what you know
God has called you to do, or who God has called you to become.
It’s not easy being hit and chiseled but it’s even worse giving up what you know
God has called you to do, or who God has called you to become.
"what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and
then
vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, If the Lord wills, we
shall live and do
this or that.” James
4:14-15
What
is my life about?
If the Lord wills it I
will live it, no matter how impossible or tiring it seems, I know
that with Him all things are possible.
that with Him all things are possible.
"Let us not become wearing in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
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