Elder Matthew

“I’m a girl that’s what we do, jump to conclusions!”

“ughhh, the longer I’m single the more I want to STAY single.” 

This is a typical conversation between my oldest brother and myself normally including inside jokes, movie quotes, and stories about parents. 

Frankly when I was about eleven I thought he was the worst brother on the planet.  We did NOT get along; I was needy and loud, he was moody and quiet.  After he moved away to college something changed, for some reason I found that he was more than a brother, but a friend, a comrade, a partner in the crime against our parents. ;)  I realized through the highs and lows of everything I’d been through he was there right beside (even if at times he didn’t want to be there).   It took him being away for all of us to appreciate what we had. 

I remember the first time he glared at these guys for checking me out, I grinned good-naturedly.  Even today I’m always amused at his “Big Brother” mode that instantly turns on. I’ve gone to him so many times for advice and just someone to talk to.  Even though growing up I could never see why God had put him in my life today, I know I NEED/ED him.  Without him I don’t know who would’ve listened to me rant for an hour or told me to not let what other people say get in the way.   He’s constantly reminding to keep what I believe in first and not to let others dictate who I know I can be.  “You always have to look out for number one Heidi…long pause…that’s you.” Hahaha   To some extent he forced me to grow up and take responsibility for my actions.  But more than telling me how to grow up, he showed me.  It was through his actions I learned how nothing is impossible when I ask God for His help.  

For my job interview I was asked who my hero was.  It took me awhile to decide but I finally picked my older brother.  Why?  Because he’s artistic, clever, he balanced a demanding job, college, and internships. He pushed through heartache and found that each new day provides us with a new hope. He fought for his dream job and and man am I proud of the job he landed.  But more than that I'm proud to call this man my brother.

I guess all I can say is, Happy Birthday Matthew, I don’t know what I did to deserve you for an older brother but thanks for all the laughter, strength and joy you bring into everyone’s life. <3

Prince Charming

Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true

Deep down inside we want to believe they still do

In our secretest heart

It's our favorite part of the story

Let's just admit we all want to make it to ever, ever after

Women are so afraid of not finding their Prince Charming that they have the potential to turn every man into a Prince Charming.  As a young child I would dream, as many young girls often do, of the day a “Prince Charming” would sweep me off my feet and together we’d create a story that put Walt Disney to shame. 

Well the cruel reality of life made me realize that men and women aren’t as “charming” as Disney had led me to believe. I was pondering if I could have one quality or feature in a man, what would I desire most:

---That he would challenge me to search for Christ with all that I am, longing to become more like Him.  Also, that this man would know all of my imperfections and still love me through them.---

Okay, maybe that’s not one quality, I’m bad at counting. ;)  However, I realized what I desired most was identical to the main character in a timeless love story.

“Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23

Men and women we are entrapped in a deadly circle that consists of the ghosts of past relationships haunting our future ones.  There has to be something better.  How is it that love is “found” and then lost; it was never intended to be treated thus. Shouldn’t love be pure and unscathed, with the ability to be attainted by all and treasured as a priceless gem?  Unfortunately we live in a world whose seemingly only desire is to destroy any flicker of purity these peoples put forth. 

Today girls throw themselves at guys. Fact.  They long for affection and attention that they are assume they are unable to achieve any place else.  That Prince Charming from Disney is still sought after, but girls assume he can only be achieved through “sampling” of all those who interest them.  It’s like getting a box of chocolates and tasting all of them, putting back the ones you dislike. 

“If you never kiss before marriage how do you know you’ll end up with a good kisser?”

“If I’ve never kissed anyone what would I have to compare it to?”

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Purity entails more than saving the physical.  It’s a daily fight to keep ones emotions in check with the thoughts that cross his or her mind. 

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,” 1 Corinthians 10:3-5

How is it that we have this desire for a perfect relationship, or a Disney Prince Charming?  Is this desire purely from our flesh or is there perhaps a virtuous quality that derives from a cherished Book.

Our perfect love story begins at the end of the story of salvation.  A spotless sacrifice was crucified.  But He went willing; He lay down His life for a most undeserving race.  And soon the heavens rejoiced because it was through this purity all could have communion with our Lord.  Through the purity, we found perfect communion…

“Knowing that you were redeemed…with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.” 1 Peter 1:18-19

The man my “most wanted quality” resembled was Jesus.  A Prince Charming that is perfect, spotless, and still forgiving.  He loves me despite my flaws and it is His desire that I grow closer and closer to Him.  He challenges me to become more of this person He created in His own image.  It isn’t that the dream of Prince Charming is morally reprehensible but it is our actions that are caused by that dream that have the potential to cause harm.

One day I know I’m going to be in heaven, unscathed by the world partaking in harmonious communion with all those there.  There is no sorrow, or suffering, just joy in knowing we have been rewarded

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." –Revelation 21:4

Through purity we find harmony.  God portrays this to us all throughout scripture. He gave us His Book with an example of how relationships SHOULD work.  It wasn’t until a pure sacrifice was made our debt could be fulfilled.  It is not until God calls us pure we are able to enter into His kingdom, and the best part of this story?  Christ has given each of us our purity as a gift, to keep or give away as we see fit.  You see the story didn’t end with a Lamb being slaughtered.  No, it is an ongoing story that only becomes more beautiful with time.  We all want a Christ-figured relationship but very few of us are willing to give what it takes…a pure sacrifice.  Or rather sacrificing ourselves to be slaughtered in a world that deems purity was “ignorant.”   

God has proven Himself capable of orchestrating a timeless love story; why not allow Him to write yours?  Give your “Prince Charming” to Him and wait.  Realize that the only Prince Charming is the one whom God can and will bestow upon you.  Wait and pray that your purity will not be taken advantage of, that you will have the strength to save this gift, and search the scripture daily for strength from Christ.  I only wrote a small bit of this love story, however through the scripture you will discover there’s more than I let on.  Have faith, He will come.

For those who have already breached the purity of relationships I am not going to pretend I understand what it’s like to be in that situation, I don’t.  But I do know there’s a God who loves you despite your blemishes.  He’s a God who can move mountains and part waters, and it is His greatest desire that you understand He wants to be the Rock you lean on.  I believe no matter what the circumstance Christ will help you through it and use what was intended for evil, for good. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”  Genesis 50:20

Twas the Night Before Jesus Came

In honor of Christmas and the real reason for our joy this season. :)


Twas the night Jesus came and all through the house,
not a person was praying - not one in the house.
The Bible was left on the shelf without care,
for no one thought Jesus would come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
not once ever kneeling or bowing their head.
Mom in the rocking chair with babe on her lap,
she was watching the 'Late Show' as I took a nap.

When out of the east there rose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutters and lifted the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but Angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
The light of His face made me cover my head,
was Jesus returning just like He'd said?

Though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth,
I cried when I saw Him - in spite of myself.
In the 'Book of Life' which He held in His hand,
was written the name of every saved man.

He spoke not a word as He searched for my name,
when He said, "It's not here!" my head hung in shame.
The people whose names had been written with Love,
He gathered to take to His Father above.

With those who were ready He rose without sound,
while all the others were left standing around.
I fell to my knees - but it was too late,
I'd waited too long and thus sealed my fate!

I stood and cried as they rose out of sight,
Oh, if only I'd known that this was the night.
In the words of this poem the meaning is clear,
THE COMING OF JESUS IS NOW DRAWING NEAR!

There's only one life and when comes the last call,
we'll find out the Bible was TRUE after all!

 "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." 

Sitting Alone

Once upon a time there was a girl whose name was Heidi. She was bright and cheery, and she loved to make people laugh. Sometimes though, she would get weighed down with all of the things she had to do and the responsibilities of moving forward with life.

I’m not a letter type of person.  Actually, let me restate that: I LOVE getting letters, emails, phone calls…I’m just extremely horrible at returning them so I feel awful for not putting the same amount of effort back into that which was obviously put in.  But I received an email from a friend that made me, well read it over and over again.  It’s funny how God sends you those heaven sent messages just when you need them. 

I sat in my living room; it was dark with only the glow of the Christmas tree.  I love this room during Christmas night.  The house is quiet, the stockings are hung by the fireplace and the nativity scene is calm.  I can sit and be alone, not despairing but with a blanket of peace covering me.

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

-       because when she felt the MOST alone, that's when Jesus, the person who loved her the most out of everybody who ever existed, could show her the best that he was with her always, and that she could always depend on him.

I have to admit December is my favorite month.  It’s more than the receiving of presents it's the spirit in the air.  I love knowing that God sent this little baby boy just for me…and just for you, to be our watchful knight

"The LORD will keep you from all harm— 
   he will watch over your life; 
the LORD will watch over your coming and going 
both now and forevermore." Psalm 121:7,8

because he always was watching out for her, and always listening to all of her secret thoughts. He always knew when she was down or tired, or struggling with another problem that was weighing on her. He was there to comfort and protect, and most of all, love.

Love.  He loves me enough to send His baby boy to die for me. Every time I attempt to artfully depict Christ’s love I find myself entrapped.  He loves me to give me EVERYTHING that I have, clothing, a room, presents under the tree, schooling, a job, family, and some of the best friends in this world. 

Matthew 7:11 
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Out of everybody that she's ever known, Jesus understands her the BEST. He's the one who will give her people to laugh with, and to make sure that those same people she can cry with too.

I have this word, sound, code, I’m not too sure what you’d call it but this is what it looks like when texted “ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!” It means: “I’m done, I’ve been pushed to the edge. CALL ME.” Haha.  We can’t really become close to someone till we can let him or her see us when we are weak.  God gives us friends who have the ability to strengthen us.  Many times I found myself thinking I had to handle something on my own, well, I couldn’t.  But once I went and cried out I found myself renewed.  I realized it’s okay to let go and ask someone to help you through it. 

Revelation 21:4 
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

 it's okay to be weak, because he will be her strength. That he wants what is truly the best for her, not making decisions or giving her advice with flawed or selfish or manipulative motives. He will always listen to her cry in the quiet darkness of her bedroom when she goes to bed sad at night, or to calm her nerves when she's about to do something she's unsure she can do. He guides her and lights her way, and deep inside she knows, she knows that he is always with her. Even when she doubts, she knows, because the truth is not a lie and she was made to meet her maker.

It’s hard to search for the truth especially when people want you to believe a lie.  But once that truth is found cherish it never let it go for it will become apart of you.  So many times I have wished to see His face and just leave this world behind and yet I know I’m here for such as time as this but I will anxiously wait for the day when I can see my King face to face.

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’" Matthew 25:23

 even when times get rough and situations get in-between to where she doesn't know what's right or wrong, when things get gray and hard to read, she knows she can turn to him. And so she lives: ever receiving his joy, and compassion, and mercy and grace and peace. Even when the monsters inside of her rear their heads, he's her knight in shining armor, ending the attack and helping her build foundations of self-control and kindness, submission, forgiveness, and a desire to know more things about this stranger who, for no good reason, decided to be her savior. Because in the world, dying for somebody is so rare and un-acclaimed.

We are a selfish race.  We justify our actions by stating “they brought it upon themselves why should I get involved.”  But Christ, He saw a race that had brought sin into a perfect world, and somehow He still loved us.  For some reason He died for us.

Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 love is rarely pure and completely selfless. So imagine the one person in the ENTIRE WORLD and HISTORY OF MAN to have a love as pure and selfless enough to choose to die for somebody, instead of that somebody, to save that somebody, would choose YOU? Why? Because he loved her. She didn't deserve it. As excellent and honest and wonderful as her friends thought she was, she wasn't perfect. She didn't deserve to have a friend and savior like that, but there he was. and he loved her so much, if she truly knew the extent, she would never feel alone or unwanted or used or insecure ever again. And he's doing his best to help her understand just how much he loves her.

And one day, he knows she will. ♥

The end

How much He loves me.  My friend is right I will never understand the depths of His love.  I look at the stockings and tree contemplating how many gifts Christ has given me, and you, His selfish, undeserving children.  But He awaits the day when He can look to us and say “good job my good and faithful servent” We are not made to be alone. We have been crafted together in a indissoluble bond ready to love and to be loved.  Because, in the end, all of us aren’t heaven-sent, but headed towards heaven, to our King un-alone and unafraid.

 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:24