Change

“God is out to change us.”

The Sunday morning sermon echoed through my ears. 

“He’s morphing you into the image of Jesus.”

Jesus was beaten, bruised, and betrayed.

“If anyone had the right to have self-pity He did.”

And yet He didn’t and so many times I pity myself, nothing I have ever gone through compares.  I’m a mere ink dot in the greater script of His suffering. 

“God says, ‘One of the ways I’m going to save you from is yourself.’”

When I feel the only person I can hurt is myself—I hurt Him.  When I feel the only person who can hear me is myself—He hears.  And when I feel the only one who truly notices is me—He’s watching.

“God loves you just the way you are, but He loves you so much that He won’t let you stay that way.” 

BAM.  Nail hit on the head.  I’ve dedicated myself to following after Him and He’s going to make sure I am the best that I can be, through opportunities. 

“If you ask God for patience will He simply give you patience or give you the opportunity to practice patience.”

Practice relying solely on Him.  Practice Faith.

“When God wants you somewhere He will make sure you get there.”

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

Because He is out to change me, and I am okay with that. 

I live to worship You, Lord 

My King of glory, brought me to Life

Gave me wings to fly, You are holy

Heaven and earth declare Your praise

Both now and evermore, I will glorify Your name

I Don't Know

I click the sign in button and stare at a blank post, I haven't wanted to write I just wanted to be alone and figure life out. 

 One time I was training for a race and for some reason felt off when running, I was behind one of the slowest girls and that never happened.  Then I stopped breathing.  I stopped running and tried taking deep breaths while I collapsed to the ground.  A coach ran over to me and tried to calm me down.  I became scared and burst into tears, within minutes I was laughing and crying because I couldn't understand what came over me.  

I didn't understand.  I ended up placing first in the race I was training for, but it was not without bad days.  Days I don't know why things happen, days when people tell me to pull it together and figure it out.  

"What's your plan."   

I don't know... 

but I do know that there's this Guy, He loves me more than I can even fathom and He has a plan.  

It's okay to not know, it's okay to be confused, and most of all it's okay to trust, even on our worst days, that there's a better tomorrow. 

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6

So that's my plan; to let go, to accept not being able to understand and yet have peace in knowing someone who DOES understand is in control, directing me through the rush hour of life. 

"In his heart a man plans his way, but the LORD directs his path." Proverbs 16:9